Do you rememeber middle school? I sure do, and I remember it being awkward. I felt self-conscious all the time. I thought middle school was a tough time and simply a phase to endure.
Kids may tell parents they are scared when they are about to start middle school, or they may hide their fear. Some kids may even say they are excited, but most will have a bit of fear on some level because there are so many unknowns in the gigantic turbulent sea of middle school. Kids will experience many new things in middle school. I’m a seasoned mom of middle school kids so I’m sharing my advice about What To Tell Kids Every Day Of Middle School.
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These are simple suggestions that may seem obvious, but saying them out loud rather than assuming kids already know them solidifies these ideas in their heads. Tweens need a giant amount of parental support.
Tweens are hot, cold, and every temp in between. Parents need to be there for them no matter what. We need to be that supportive wave in the unknown sea.
I love you-Tweens Need To Hear This Every Day
I always say I love you to my kids. They usually say it back, but I wouldn’t even care if they said it back or not. I love it when they do say it back, but what is most important is that they know I love them. Kids at this age have extreme emotions and one day they may feel close to their parents and feel love. The next day they may pull away from their parents or even be so angry to yell I hate you!
My boys need to know my love is unconditional for them. I will always love them because they are my kids; this must be a concrete ever-lasting nugget in their heads. Being my kid is the only criteria I need to give them unconditional love. My kids need to know I am here for them no matter what. I want them to know I am on their side. I’m in their court. I’m walking with them.
They need that support and that knowledge as they step off into the world. I want my kids to know that whether they have a stellar day or a bad day, I will always love them. If they become a victim of a bully or ridicule or even light undesirable teasing, my I love you will still be a memory fresh in their heads all day because I said it as they went out the door. That phrase will be in their heads no matter what joy or atrocity they face for the day.
They need homemade Mom Love.
Have a Good Day
I want my boys to know I’m thinking about them and their experiences at school. I care about how their day goes and I want to hear about it. My kids should know in their hearts that I want to know about their day because it’s important to me as their mom. I want them to know I wish the best for them. What they go through is important and I want to be there as their guide.
If my son wants to tell me a teacher was mean, or what his friend Joe did to make him laugh in Science, I want to know about it. I want to know if Katie was annoying again or if the cute girl smiled at him from across the locker bay. It’s important to me to be as much a part of their school life as possible. I want them to keep talking to me.
To get ideas for conversation starters for tweens, read this related post: Young Teen and Tween Boy Conversation Starters for Modern Moms
Have a Good Lunch
I care about my kids’ enjoyment at lunch both socially with friends and for the pleasure of eating good food. I want my kids to have fun at lunch and have joy in eating yummy food they choose (so many more lunch choices in middle school). Feeding my kids yummy food has been important to me since I started feeding them baby food so I want them to know that I still care about their meal. What they eat and if they got full still matters to me in my mothering of them.
Tomorrow is a new day, so if today doesn’t go as you had hoped, wait for tomorrow
Even before their day starts, I want to remind them a new day is coming with new and exciting potentials. I believe this will give them hope as they navigate their day. Whether they have a great day and burst with excitement spilling stories the second they walk through the door, or if they fall in the door stumbling with a down face and frown; I want them to have a precious hope for tomorrow foundation in their heads.
Tweenhood is a hard age. Tweens are changing rapidly in their appearance, in their thought processes, and in their social skills. They are trying out new skills so being self-conscious with a low self-esteem is common. What worked to make friends in elementary school may not work in middle school. Some days are tough, some are smooth, but tomorrow is a fresh start. Always.
Don’t Let Others Define You
Kids can be cruel, especially at the tween age. Peer opinions are super important to them. Kids need to be reminded that they don’t have to believe what others perceive about them. They don’t have to believe what others say about them. Kids need to know they define themselves and they don’t need to follow what others say. I tell my boys to do their best and to not let others cut them down, and seriously, don’t believe a lie just because someone spewed it out. The offensive remarking kids might be jealous or trying to make themsleves look better so I tell my kids to not give away that power of self-definition. They alone own that.
You Are a Talented Person
Kids need to know they have talents. I remind my boys of their talents frequently, not to make them over-confident and egotistical, but to boost their confidence. Their confidence may takes hits during the day at school, so I build them up with compliments to help them weather negative comments by peers. Everyone has God instilled talents so often I find I need to remind my kids of their talents. They need me to say it and the more I say it, the more they will believe it themselves. Repetition is beneficial here.
Your Schedule After School is…….
I like to remind my boys of their after school or evening events each morning so they already have it in their mind-set as they walk in the door after school. This way they won’t assume they have a free night and feel stress when they hear they don’t have free time. I believe knowing their schedule ahead of time reduces their stress and makes transitions smoother.
Yes, Middle School is a Tough Age, but Parents Can Help
Remember how much babies change in their first year of life? Tweens are like that in middle school. The hormones kick in and they may experience giant changes in their appearances and emotions in a short amount of time. That is a lot to learn to be comfortable with and still function as a student at the same time.
Middle school is a tough age for kids but with parent help, they can make it through and perhaps even blossom. My goal is to assist my boys through the tough tween years to be as healthy as possible; and to help them be prepared for tackling the teen years. Teenhood…another post for another time.
I hope my list helps all of you who are families with tweens in middle school. For more advice on middle school, please check out my post Authentic Helpful Advice For Tweens Entering Middle School
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