Parenting is filled with so much daily humor, I find myself chuckling all the time as a mom to three boys. As parents, we are often surprised, joyfully and sometimes shockingly, by parenting humor because of the funny things kids do or say. This funny parent-life story had me laughing the other day because apparently I starved my kid at lunch because I literally gave him bird food, or so he says. Read on for the Funny Truth of How I Literally Starved My Son at Lunch, when I really did no such thing!
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Young Kids are SO Literal
My youngest son is very literal. He still thinks sayings like “Eat like a horse” and “I’m pooped” are hilarious. He thinks of them in the literal sense as all kids his age do, but this often makes me chuckle at him, because again parenting humor happens almost daily. It’s one of the surprisingly joyous aspects of parenting that makes me smile. Love it!
My funny true story of how I accidentally literally starved my son at lunch is ridiciulous because his definition of starving is very subjective, just as it is with most kids. He will eat five things for lunch and say he’s starving which is clearly not true if he already ate five things. His definition of starving is clearly off.
This story of boy momlife unfolds further.
The Buggy Peanut Butter
This past Christmas I was making my first batch of cookies for the season. I was making peanut blossom cookies, the classic peanut butter cookie with the chocolate candy in the center. At Christmas time, a double batch of these cookies lasts about four days at my house and I’m back making a second round of them.
The myth is true, boys eat a lot, I know because of have three of them. I’ve seen a family size box of cheese crackers disappear in one hour.
As I scooped out the full cup of peanut butter out of the measuring cup to make the cookie dough, I watched in helpless horror as it fell splat on some dead bugs in the bottom of the mixing bowl. I couldn’t stop the peanut butter blob in time before it swallowed up the bugs.
I didn’t want to waste the peanut butter because it’s a precious favorite in our house. But, I also knew I couldn’t be sure I got all the bug parts out of the peanut butter, so I couldn’t use it for the cookies either. I wouldn’t be able to eat one if I did. I’m a girly girl and a vegetarian, so bugs are definitely not ok to eat.
Being frugal, I didn’t want to throw it out, so I thought I would just feed it to the wild birds in my backyard. But I didn’t want to just put a giant blob of peanut butter out.
So…DIY Homemade Bird Suet Was Born
I had lemons, so why not make lemonade? So, my DIY homemade bird suet was born.
I mixed bird seed with the buggy peanut butter. I labeled a small rectangular plastic container for birds in permanent ink so my boys wouldn’t think it was a yummy giant peanut butter dessert bar when they rummaged through the freezer. At a quick glance, it kind of looked like a giant crisped rice cereal and peanut butter bar, which they would think was heavenly and devour it without hesitation.
I was pleased. I had made a wonderful homemade suet for my backyard birds, and I hadn’t wasted the peanut butter. A win-win for me.
Funny Truth of How I Literally Starved My Son at Lunch
Fast forward to when Christmas break was over, I was back to making cold lunches for my youngest son for school, which was his preference.
He came home from school one day very angry with me because he claimed I starved him at lunch. Instantly I had a bad feeling in my gut. Did I commit the act of mom fail as a parent and forget to send a lunch to school with him?
No, I remembered packing him a lunch so I couldn’t imagine what he was talking about. I had packed five things as usual, one of which was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This made zero sense.
He shrugged it off, grabbed a snack and went off to play.
I went straight to his backpack and unpacked his lunch bag. There I found his sandwich still in there completely untouched, uneaten. So, how could I have starved him if he didn’t even eat the full lunch?
I hunted him down and asked him, “How is it possible I starved you at lunch when you didn’t even take one bite of the sandwich?”
This was his response.
“It said ‘for birds’ on my sandwich container so I thought it was bird food. I thought you gave me bird food.” He frowned. “I don’t eat bird food.” He said this with a serious and stern look.
I busted out laughing. I couldn’t help it! He frowned at me even deeper with furrowed brows over long little boy eyelashes in a huff.
“Not funny,” he said.
I had used the same container for the suet as I used for his sandwich!
My mom fail, non-fail, Funny Truth of How I Literally Starved My Son at Lunch is a story I will enjoy sharing with him someday, until then it’s good for me to revisit when I need a smile. Momlife is full of little moments of humor that go a long way; and I intend to cherish them all along the journey.
Want More Parent Humor:
I hope you enjoyed this parenting humor story, the funny truth I literally starved my son lunch:) Looking for more parenting humor? Read this: 30 Hilarious Authentic Truths About Being a Boy Mom
Want to laugh more with your kids? Play this fun game with them, we always get lots of laughs as a family when we play this game together:)
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