Kids say the funniest things, don’t they? I started a list of some of the funniest things my boys have said over the years. They’ve said so many funny things, I wish I had written them all down, but I did capture a few. Being a mom is awesome and when your kids make you outright laugh because of a funny comment, it makes being a mom even more fun and enjoyable. I’m sharing 50 funny real humorous quotes from boys, both young and old. Get ready to giggle!
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One of the funniest things one of my sons said was the way he said basketball hoop. We had a little toy basketball hoop and he loved it. Adored it. He couldn’t say basketball hoop, but it came out of his mouth as gas-ball-poop. He was so little and innocent that he didn’t even realize what he was saying but we would roar with laughter when he said! Sometimes it’s the little things that make my day as a mother:)
Funny Real Quotes from Boys, Humor in Momlife
Sweet and innocent humorous quotes that make me smile from when my kids were under the age of five, then lots of bodily function humor over the age of five of course too! We never stop laughing at my house with three boys.
Here we go!
Age 5 and under:
When told he was buff and had buns of steel he said, “No, I still have them.”
He pointed to his right ear and he said, “This is my right ear.” Then he pointed to his left ear and said, “This is my wrong ear.”
When looking at dead bugs outside he exclaimed, “Mommy! The bugs are broken!”
He wanted to look at his picture up on the dress so he said, “I want to see my you.”
When outside looking at the birds on a telephone wire, he said, “I bet those birds’ moms are mad at them.” I asked, “Why?” He said, “Cause they are up high and they might fall down and get hurt!”
“Mom! I just did a somersault in the backyard!” He was all dripping and soaking wet. I found out he did a somersault in a puddle, his first one!
“Honey, please wait,” I said. He said, “I can’t, that hurts me!”
Like we catch a cold, when he got hot he’d say, “I’m gonna catch a hot!”
If asked if he got a haircut, he responded with, “No, all my hairs are short now.”
When someone asked what his name was in a store, he said, “Pumpkin Pie.”
How does Santa see us all the time? Does he have lots of eyes?
I worked so hard at baseball I got a chest hair!
After one cul-de-sac of trick or treating on Halloween at the age of three, he asked, “Now, who gets to carry me?”
Why doesn’t God just move us around to where he wants us to be?
Humorous Quotes from Boys Over the Age of 5: Oh, the body is oh so funny!
Mom, if you wash poop, does it make it cleaner?
Maybe we can wash the dog’s poop so it doesn’t smell so bad.
Mom, can we have a rubber band fight, just you and me?
You don’t know it but I just farted. Silently. (when sitting on the couch together)
I farted! (said with a smile)
I tooted! (said with a smile again after entering a room)
The toilet is kinda clogged.
Why don’t they call behind the knee a leg pit? Because under the arm is arm pit.
If syrup is made from a tree, it must be a fruit. I just ate fruit on my pancakes!
Girls don’t fart. Right?
I know how to burp on purpose. See, I can do it.
If I ate all fruits and vegetables only, would my poop still smell bad?
If I ate only fruit and vegetables, would I still even make poop?
So, if I fart underwater does it still smell bad?
Can you hear a fart if it’s underwater?
Mom, can we just print more money using our printer?
If I drank only water, would my pee be clear?
Mom, if girls don’t have a penis, do they pee out their butt? (try not to laugh at that one when your kid asks you this with a straight and serious face, it’s not easy!)
Don’t they cut all babies out of moms’ tummies?
Can I have candy for breakfast?
Can I spray the sunscreen and light it on fire? I think it will light up.
I saw this thing on Youtube, can I heat a glass cup of water on the stove burner?
Will you buy more tape? I used it all to make a ball and I want to make my ball even bigger.
Can I just eat some grass?
Mom, do you fart?
If we didn’t have a butt, would we fart?
Butt. (’cause that by itself is hilarious)
Do adults pick their nose? I think they do.
Why can’t you eat a booger?
Guinea pig poops look like bratwurst. (They actually do!)
I stepped in a poop outside. (hands you the shoe). Fix it.
When the poop gets flushed, do they wash it off to make new water?
Can I fart into a bottle and save it? Then I could release it and make someone smell it later!
John farted into the cheeseball bin at the party.
So and so pooped in the wall and covered it up with a block.
Can I shoot the house with airsoft bullets? (outrageous, right??)
Momlife Gives Many Laughs! Some Sweet and humorous quotes, some outright belly laughing funny!
Eek! Momlife can be crazy at times! I hope you’ve gotten a giggle or two from this fun humorous quotes list. I hope I’ve lightened your day with some light-hearted fun and gave you some smiles. I hope you all write down the funny things your own kids and grandkids say because they are so precious and fun to read in the future. Make it into a journal!
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Looking for more Momlife Humor? Check out some of my other funny posts.
Funny Truth of How I Literally Starved My Son at Lunch
30 Hilarious Authentic Truths About Being a Boy Mom
Confessions of a Pinterest Fail Mom for Home Organization
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Leigh Suznovich says
Kids are so funny, I love these!! Made me smile and laugh :-).
Julie Hoag says
Oh I’m so happy I made you laugh and smile:) That makes me happy!!
These were a great way to start my morning!
Julie Hoag says
I’m so glad to help you start the day with a smile:) Thanks for reading!!
this is toooo hilarious Julie. im saving it for later to read aa well. this is something i can keep coming back to for sure.
Julie Hoag says
I’m so happy you enjoyed it!! That makes me so happy:) Thank you!
OH my gosh these were too funny!! Kids are the best!
Julie Hoag says
They are, aren’t they!! Kids rock! Thanks so much for reading!!